More Overheard In New York

Some lighter stuff extracted from a site where I get my bedtime stories:

Isn't This an at-Home Conversation?

Little girl, squeezing mom's breast:
Mom, what are these for?
Mom: Shhh...
Little girl:
Mom, did I suck on them when I was littler?
Mom: Shhh...
Little girl:
You know, Mom, like a cow?
[Bends over and pretends to drink.]
Mom: Like a cow?
Little girl: Yeah, did I milk you like a cow?

I Blame the Emergence
of the Trapper Keeper

Seven-year-old girl: Yeah, 'cause, like, no one was cool in the '80s.

(Aw. I was cool in the 80s!)

And on the Bath Mat.
And Behind the Toilet.

Mom trying to remove splinter from son's hand: I'm sorry it hurts. When we get home you can take a bath. Sometimes that helps splinters come out.

Toddler, in between sobs: Okay... And this time I'll try not to poop in the tub.

You Guys Are Worse
Than the Ferrets

Mom with two kids in tow: You guys can't take Mommy's cell phone out of her purse anymore, okay? It's very important to leave Mommy's cell phone in her purse. [Stops suddenly] Okay, where did we put Mommy's purse?